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Anuta Visits Beth

I've been in Sawmill now for a few days and I'm here to tell you I was a very confused and messed up kid.
Everything around me felt strange and even though I was being loved and cared for I still had a bad feeling in me. I could not look out a window and see the large buildngs of Moscow, I did not have the Sisters in the Home taking care of me and the kids that were my friends were no longer near me all day.

Everytime my mum or dad put me in a car to go somewhere I would cry and not won't to go. I was scared that they didn't like me anymore and were going to carry me somewhere and put me back out on the streets in a place and with a language I didn't know.

I think my mum and dad knew I had these feelings and would always reassure me with words telling me when we returned home we would have some fun together. I still didn't believe them, but we always returned back home and would play together.

One morning Aunta came to see me for the very first time. She bounced in the door with a smile on her face and said howdy aunt Marcie! My mum said well howdy to you Anuta. I've come for a visit with Beth and would like to play with her.

I was sitting at the kitchen island eating a melon and drinking some milk. Anuta told me later in life that I looked at her with a blank expression on my face and didn't say a thing to her. She looked at me and spoke to me in Russian and asked was I having fun? I just looked at her and didn't say anything.

She came and got in a chair next to me and my mum gave her some melon and a glass of milk. She asked my mum a question in English and my mum answered her. Anuta looked at me and told me everything was going to be ok and we were going to start going outside everyday to play and hve a lot of fun.

I told her I didn't want to go outside. She laughed and said you are my cousin and we're going outside and play and meet some other kids. I told her again, I do not want to go outside and play and meet other kids.
She and my mum spoke in English again.

The door opened again and it was Anuta's sis Scoot. She said the same words to my mum, that howdy aunt Marcie. WOW melon! Scoot got up in a chair and my mum gave her some melon and a glass of milk.
She looked at me and said to me in Russian, hellooooooooo Beth girl! I didn't say a word to her. She looked at my mum and they talked in English for a few minutes. She finished her melon and thanked my mum. She got up and came and gave me hug and said see you later Beth girl.

She got to the door and stopped and looked at Anuta and said a word....poppa, and then left. Anuta looked up at my mum and my mum looked at her and smiled and shook her head.

Anuta said I see you later Beth. I need to call my poppa and talk to him for a few minutes. She hugged me and went out the door. My mum came and hugged me and told me, you're really going to have some fun soon my Beth.

This scared me a little more I think. I felt like as long as I was in the house and my parents were near me I would be ok and not be put back on the streets.

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